It's Wednesday night. I have two tests on Friday that I have to study for, a good sized book to read for a four page report due Wednesday (barely even started reading the book), and a pretty big group project that I have to organize for my on-line class that may or may not be due tonight. Staring at all the crap I have to do in a very short amount of time, I have decided to sit here, drink some manly Smirnoff, and write here instead because I am very dedicated to this whole college thing.
I've been in college for two years now. This should be my last semester, but math happened, which put me behind. I realize now that if I had tried to do college right after high school, there is no way I would've made it this far. 10 years later, I have a better appreciation for the whole experience, and am willing to put up with the bullshit that college students have to go through.
Before I even started, I assumed that I would just hate every "young adult" that I would have classes with. People aged 18-23 generally just irritate the shit out of me. They think they know shit, when they wouldn't know, to quote the immortal Gorilla Monsoon, "A wrist lock from a wrist watch." Basically, they don't know a damn thing. However, what I have noticed is that, for the most part, these young kids are basically cool for the most part. Most of the ones I've had classes with are focused and actually contribute to discussions really well. I'm not ashamed to say that I may have made a couple of "young adult" friends in my tenure thus far. They might not say the same about me, but I really don't care. What surprised me is how some of the "adults" act. In one of my earlier classes, there was this big, burly, biker-looking dude who knew everything. Period. The journeys he has had gave him very intimate knowledge about the struggles in the third world countries we were discussing. Even though there were times that he was flat out wrong on all accounts, he refused to back down because he was old and wise and the teacher didn't know shit, obviously. There was an older lady in my computer class that all but demanded special attention from the teacher because she was an old lady and didn't understand how a keyboard worked. On more than one occasion an an "adult" has attempted to lead class using their "knowledge" about whatever bullshit they could come up with. Seeing this has given me a more realistic view on things. Not all young people are jackasses, and age does not equal wisdom.
The thing I find the most useless in a real world application would be college level math. I can see its usefulness if a student is going into a math or science related field, but come on. Art majors shouldn't need college algebra. Anything above Intermediate Algebra should not be required. I spend about two months in College Algebra, and I can without a shadow of a doubt that that level of math has little to no real world application to anyone outside of the math/science fields. None. At all. If anyone can think of any reason why a nurse would need to know how to figure imaginary numbers, I would love to hear it.
As far as English classes go, they are far more useful at this level. In high school, I remember being bored to tears with English. All the diagramming of sentences, and all that other crap I don't remember could just go fly a kite. In college, it has a far more practical use, at least here at NCMC. Learning how to write various different types of papers is highly useful. Hell, learning how to write properly period seems to be becoming less and less important. Just check your Facebook friend activity or whatever it's called. I can guarantee you that most of the people that post on there can't write for shit. I think that if high school classes focused more on writing papers and less on the different parts of the sentence, our English scored would improve. If nothing else, learning how to research information might improve interest in learning.
On to less education-related stuff, since I think I'm drinking a little too fast and don't really feel like thinking. I have learned how pick and choose what I study for. Take this semester for instance. I have two history classes. One of them is American History Up to 1877, and Western Civilization Since 1700. Now there are times where the information from the two classes sync up, which is awesome. Most of the time they do not, which is not awesome. The notes for Am. History (already prepared by the teacher) tend to be anywhere from 10-50 pages. Western Civ. is about 10-20, depending on what I write down since we are in charge of our own note taking. Guess which class I study for. Here is a hint: American History grade is around 80%. Western Civilization grade is around 89-90%. If there are too many notes, I'm not going to read them. I find history a little more interesting than I did 10 years ago, but not enough to read 50 pages of boring shit. Oh, and those are just the pages of notes. It is also recommended that we read the chapters in the book. American History chapters are, at the very least, 30 pages a piece, and each test covers three chapters usually. There's no way I'm reading all that shit. I honestly don't know why I bother getting text books. The only books I have opened have been my math books, my Health Education book, my Ethics book when the teacher told us to, and my World Literature book. My English books, Sociology, biology, physical science, all those others books just took my money to never really be opened.
There has been a little discussion going around lately about whether college is actually worth the money. My answer is maybe. Fortunately for myself, my actual classes are basically paid for because I am on the Pell Grant (being poor has its advantages). I do have a student loan that I get every year, which is around $3500. By the time I'm finished, assuming tuition and all those other costs don't go up too much, I should owe somewhere in the area of $12-15 thousand, which doesn't compare to what some people owe. If you can get a good job right out the gate after college, you should be fine. Some people are not that lucky. A buddy of mine, who was pretty damn good at digital animation (I think that's what it was called), has spent the past few years trying to find any sort of job relating to what he went to school for with no luck. It really depends on what you go to school for, and how aggressive you are after graduating in your job hunt. Some smart people get themselves into internships to better increase their chances. I'd like to become a journalist, but I know that English careers aren't doing real well right now. That is why I plan on getting my certification for Computer Network Administration Technician after my get my Associates. English careers might not be that needed, but we will always need computer dorks, and I plan on being one of them.
I've ran out of steam and stuff to talk about. Listen up kiddies: College is not that bad, as long as you are smarter than people like me and actually set aside some time to get your homework, projects, or whatever else you might have to do so you aren't rushing everything at the last minute. Understand that if you don't have someone footing the bill, you will have debt that might take a long time to pay off. The economy is dog shit currently, so any job is hard to come by, which is why you should try to get shit going ahead of time. Finally, most college kids aren't too bad, and some of us adults are damn idiots. Thank you and good night.
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Buck Discusses Religion
When I was a wee little lad, I basically believed in God. Well, as much as a child can believe in something like that. As I grew older, I felt less and less like waking up early to go to church, and on Wednesdays I preferred to sit around, watch TV, play video games, or go hang out with friends. It took a few more years for me to come to terms with my lack of belief. A major factor in that decision was when I went to a summer church camp with a couple of the kids from the neighborhood we lived in at the time. After having what little money I had stolen, basically being avoided by everyone for whatever reason, and just having a horrible time all around (I don't remember any concrete details, as I was maybe 13 at the time), I decided that if that is how religious people wanted to act, then I didn't want to have anything to do with them. Moving through my teenage years, I basically became an atheist, which led to a couple of awkward conversations with some of my friends who were deeply religious and concerned about my soul or whatever. I appreciated it, but really didn't have any time for any of that. For the majority of my teenage years, I was a pretty serious atheist, because I was a teenager, and thus I knew everything. As the years have gone by, I have a much more relaxed view on the whole religion thing. If anything, I am an agnostic, unless someone is aggressively trying to "convert" me, then I just lean back on my atheism, mostly to get them to leave me the hell alone. I realize that there is no real way to prove whether or not God actually exists until we die, and at that point, who are we going to tell?
As a whole, I have no real issue with any religion. The idea of religion has done no real damage to anyone ever. I have always viewed the Bible as a book that serves as a guideline to being a good person. Granted, some of the stuff in the Old Testament is pretty extreme, but those stories were told to help straighten people out. The "fear of God" is a pretty powerful thing, and can be a very good motivator. It's when people start taking the stories from the Bible and try to use them to affect what other people do that I cannot stand. The best example I can think of is homosexuality. I will admit that I'd rather not see two big, burly dudes go at each others' business, but I also understand that what they do is their business, and is none of mine. If they want to stick things in each others butts, as long as they don't ask for my help, then I'm cool with it. Once the more opinionated of the religious got wind of the idea of homosexuality, it all went to shit. Then government officials threw their hats into the fray. Holy shit. Thankfully, homosexuals are finally starting to get the rights they should've always had. The treatment of homosexuals are only a couple of baby steps above what we used to do to African Americans, and that's mostly because most of us don't go around, trying to kill them. It's fucking ridiculous. If two grown adults want to be a couple, get married, and grow to hate each other like every other couple, who cares if they both have matching parts? I hope that we have a gay president before I die. The only real issue I have with anything relating to homosexuality is the cross dressing, and that's really only because most guys make some horrible looking women. I'm all about doing what you want, but come on. Do something extra to make yourself look sexy if you're going to dress as the opposite sex. Anyway...
On a related note, I hope Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church fucking die. Seriously, he and his crew should be executed and I will dance the happiest dance of joy the day that man dies. Hopefully in a fire. With the rest of his family. Moving on.
One thing I have noticed about being an agnostic/atheist is that other religions don't exactly appreciate it. I vividly remember a time when I was banned from my friends grandparents and, if I remember correctly, parents house. What had happened was a couple of us were over at his grandparents house, staying up late and hanging out in the living room, probably playing video games or watching anime. Apparently, I said something regarding religion. I say apparently because I don't have any recollection of it, since the two friends I was with were deeply religious, and I'd like to think that I'd at least keep my mouth shut about that topic around them. I guess I didn't, and his grandparents heard it somehow. A few days or so later I learn that I'm not allowed back there because of whatever I said. I understand why they'd be upset, but to be banned is a little much. I think a similar episode happened with his parents, but I'm not exactly sure. Another example happened in my first semester of college. I had to give a speech for my Speech class, and I decided it was a good idea to talk to a class full of religious people about how being an atheist doesn't make you evil. We had to post our speech topic on a discussion board where we would all comment on each others topics. A couple said they were interested in hearing what I had to say, and that they agreed with me. However, most of them said that if they were talking to an atheist they would choose to dismiss them based solely on the fact that they did not believe in God. That reaction didn't surprise me one bit. Most religious people seem to be all for religious freedom as long as you agree with what they believe in.
I'm losing my steam and getting off track, but the basic gist of what I'm talking about is this: For a group that worship Jesus, who has been said to be a peaceful man who loved everyone regardless of their flaws, Christians and Catholics and all the others seem to have a lot of hate for a lot of different people, mostly because they don't agree. If anyone out there reads this, and is deeply religious, and hates anyone for any reason simply because they have some different view of what is acceptable (sexuality, religion, whatever), maybe you should read a little more about what your savior preached.
Ok, I officially have ran out of things to say about this. GROUP HUG!
As a whole, I have no real issue with any religion. The idea of religion has done no real damage to anyone ever. I have always viewed the Bible as a book that serves as a guideline to being a good person. Granted, some of the stuff in the Old Testament is pretty extreme, but those stories were told to help straighten people out. The "fear of God" is a pretty powerful thing, and can be a very good motivator. It's when people start taking the stories from the Bible and try to use them to affect what other people do that I cannot stand. The best example I can think of is homosexuality. I will admit that I'd rather not see two big, burly dudes go at each others' business, but I also understand that what they do is their business, and is none of mine. If they want to stick things in each others butts, as long as they don't ask for my help, then I'm cool with it. Once the more opinionated of the religious got wind of the idea of homosexuality, it all went to shit. Then government officials threw their hats into the fray. Holy shit. Thankfully, homosexuals are finally starting to get the rights they should've always had. The treatment of homosexuals are only a couple of baby steps above what we used to do to African Americans, and that's mostly because most of us don't go around, trying to kill them. It's fucking ridiculous. If two grown adults want to be a couple, get married, and grow to hate each other like every other couple, who cares if they both have matching parts? I hope that we have a gay president before I die. The only real issue I have with anything relating to homosexuality is the cross dressing, and that's really only because most guys make some horrible looking women. I'm all about doing what you want, but come on. Do something extra to make yourself look sexy if you're going to dress as the opposite sex. Anyway...
On a related note, I hope Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church fucking die. Seriously, he and his crew should be executed and I will dance the happiest dance of joy the day that man dies. Hopefully in a fire. With the rest of his family. Moving on.
One thing I have noticed about being an agnostic/atheist is that other religions don't exactly appreciate it. I vividly remember a time when I was banned from my friends grandparents and, if I remember correctly, parents house. What had happened was a couple of us were over at his grandparents house, staying up late and hanging out in the living room, probably playing video games or watching anime. Apparently, I said something regarding religion. I say apparently because I don't have any recollection of it, since the two friends I was with were deeply religious, and I'd like to think that I'd at least keep my mouth shut about that topic around them. I guess I didn't, and his grandparents heard it somehow. A few days or so later I learn that I'm not allowed back there because of whatever I said. I understand why they'd be upset, but to be banned is a little much. I think a similar episode happened with his parents, but I'm not exactly sure. Another example happened in my first semester of college. I had to give a speech for my Speech class, and I decided it was a good idea to talk to a class full of religious people about how being an atheist doesn't make you evil. We had to post our speech topic on a discussion board where we would all comment on each others topics. A couple said they were interested in hearing what I had to say, and that they agreed with me. However, most of them said that if they were talking to an atheist they would choose to dismiss them based solely on the fact that they did not believe in God. That reaction didn't surprise me one bit. Most religious people seem to be all for religious freedom as long as you agree with what they believe in.
I'm losing my steam and getting off track, but the basic gist of what I'm talking about is this: For a group that worship Jesus, who has been said to be a peaceful man who loved everyone regardless of their flaws, Christians and Catholics and all the others seem to have a lot of hate for a lot of different people, mostly because they don't agree. If anyone out there reads this, and is deeply religious, and hates anyone for any reason simply because they have some different view of what is acceptable (sexuality, religion, whatever), maybe you should read a little more about what your savior preached.
Ok, I officially have ran out of things to say about this. GROUP HUG!
Friday, June 3, 2011
A Moment of Self-Reflection
Currently, it is 2:50 am on a now Friday morning. I was sitting outside on our porch, smoking a cigarette, alone in the peaceful dark, and just thinking. Not about anything in particular, just letting my mind wander. In my thinking, I realized exactly how fortunate and blessed I am. Not really in the way that some people consider, but in a deeper, more real sense. Sure, I currently have no money that I can spend the way I would like, and I spend a good amount of time concerned for my health, but those are matters I can deal with later. I know the steps I can take to solve those problems, but I do not consider them important enough to worry about. When I say I am blessed, I mean in the people that I surround myself with.
I honestly feel with every fiber of my being that I have the greatest group of friends anyone could ask for. For example, a few nights ago, a bunch of us got together to just waste away an entire day, just hanging out, drinking a little, and having fun. Well, one of them got entirely too drunk, said things he wishes he hadn't, and decided to wander off to a party up the street. Any other group of people might have gotten pissed at him for what he was saying, and just let him go and get into whatever trouble might have happened at that party of mostly strangers. However, our friends were not about to let that slide, and we went to drag him away. Sure, it took us about 30 minutes to talk him into leaving. Even after we got him back to our party, he went off on his tangent. Apparently, he should not ever, EVER drink Vodka again. What I'm getting at is that after that night, I realized that if I were to ever do anything really stupid, say things that might cross a few lines, and just generally act a fool, I know my friends will look after my best interests, even if I am not. Upon realizing that, as long as this group of misfits, which most people would just assume are a bunch of slackers, assholes, and bitches, which we are, as long as we all stay together, we will all be in safe hands. I have managed to belong to a group that genuinely cares for one another, even if we want to just knock the shit out of each other from time to time, but that's what true friends are for. While I'm on the subject of friends, and even though I know he won't read this, I gotta say something about my friend John. Contrary to the fact that he's acting like a 12 year old girl about what I said about him, which I have said to his face in the past (for those that might not know, I called him gay. I know he's not gay, but he is a little girl sometimes, such as this), I honestly hope he gets over the sand in his vagina. If he shows up at our annual 4th of July shindig, I'll tell him in person. Until then, maybe some one reading this can pass the message along. If he still wants to be a middle-schooler about this, then so be it. All I can do is try. In conclusion of this section, I love every one of you people. If you called upon me for any sort of favor (except money. I'm broke as fuck), I will be there. Some big dude gonna whoop your ass? I've gotten pretty good at absorbing punches from big dudes. If nothing else, I'll distract him long enough for you to get out of there. You need someone to be an accomplice for something that might be a little illegal? I'll let you know how stupid it is, but I'll probably go along with you, and we can hang out in jail for a few nights afterwards. I will always have all of your backs, because I know that if I ever need it, you will have mine as well.
I also realized that I was raised by two of the best people. Ever. Am I being biased? Yes, and I don't care. Everything I am I am because of what I either inherited from them, or from what they taught me. Even though they split when my sister and I were tiny, both my mother and father impacted my life in equally important ways. Watching my mom raise four kids basically by herself, with all the problems we caused her through all of these years, and all the problems I'm sure we will continue to cause her, she has never once let us down. She has more loving patience than any of us kids deserved to have shared with us. All the stupid shit the four of us have done, and yet she still managed to calm herself down just enough to let us live to see the next sunrise. Incredible. When my sister shaved off her eye brow, when I went through my "angsty goth" phase, my sister getting pregnant, Dan getting in an impressive amount of trouble at school, me letting that kid just kick my ass in my senior year and coming home all sorts of messed up, Dan and Damon waking up and emptying the fridge out onto the kitchen floor, me almost making her kill me when I was two and demanding "Rocky Rocky" very, very early in the morning... I mean, any other mother would have snapped at least once, and suddenly only had three kids to deal with, but not her. Either through determination or just sheer stubbornness you have managed to raise four basically well-adjusted kids. You are the first half of my personal hero tag team. You have taught me patience, courage, and the determination to survive in a world that seems to be out to shit on people. There is absolutely nothing that I wouldn't do for you. Well, except change your diapers when you get old. I just don't think I could wipe poop off of your butt. I will if I have to, but if Jass could do that, I'd be so much happier.
My dad. What can I say about him? Growing up, I didn't see as much of you as I would have liked, but since you spent a good deal of time out of Missouri, I knew you couldn't make it here as often as you wanted. I know we've had our spats, like when I messed up your lawn mower blade, wore nail polish when you came over (mostly to mess with you and see what you would do), and made myself breakfast without making you any. I'm sure as the years go on, we'll argue and get pissed at each other, and I am perfectly fine with that. I know that no matter how much we may piss each other off, we will always put it behind us. As much as I am like mom, I am just as much like you. Everything from being a complete jack ass, to allergies, to my short temper, to my refusal to take shit and deal with drama, to my ability to just not care what other people think of me, you have given me several very important tools to combat this world with. You have become the man that I measure myself up against. Everything that you have had to deal with in just my life time, and to still wear a smile on your face and seem generally happy when we hang out impresses me. You are the second half of my personal hero tag team. Just as with mom, I will do anything for you, especially not change your diapers, because I know you'd try to shit on me on purpose.
How can I talk about my parents without talking about my brothers and sisters? We will go in order of age. Jass, you and I have had quite the rocky road. I know I used to say some horrible things to you, and for no real reason. I think mostly because I wanted on the computer. Yeah, I used to be real mature that way. While you can be quite a bitch, I love you with fire that can't be put out. I long since decided that while I have made you feel like shit, if anyone else does, that's an ass-kicking. You're my sister, and only I am allowed to piss you off. For example, when you were pregnant with Zane, and you just blurted out that Chip raped you (or at least that's what my ears heard), I went out looking for him. I was fully prepared to go to prison for murder that night. Come to find out that he didn't, but still. I will always be there for you if you ever need anything. I might charge you a couple of cigarettes, but I'll be right there if I can.
Danny boy. Butt face. Turd sniffer. I must say, seeing you now, and comparing you to the child you were, you impress me. The fact that mom didn't kill you as a child is incredible. You were such a pain in the ass. As you grew older, you leveled out, and now you walk around with the strut and swagger of a bad ass, which makes me smile. While you are pretty impressive at the Guitar Hero, and I remember the cool stuff you would build with your Bionical pieces, what I most enjoy is your zero tolerance for bullshit. I recall a few episodes during the past school year or two. When you smacked around the kid that was picking on a handicapped kid, I wanted to be upset, but I could not. You stood up for someone that needed help, and that is an admiral trait in anyone. You probably shouldn't have punched him, but sometimes people just need a good thumpin'. The other instance was towards the end of your senior year. When you turned a kid's head into a punching bag for talking bad about your relationships, again, I wanted to be upset, but I couldn't. I would have done the exact same thing if I was in that situation, especially since you apparently warned him several times. You would think that, since I'm sure you had a reputation at that point for punching people, that they would just leave your ass alone. All I can say about that is now that you are out of highschool, try to avoid hitting people. Eventually you're going to come across someone who can take your punches, and kick your ass. While I believe that every man needs their ass kicked every now and then, it's best to try to avoid it as long as possible. Trust me, it's never fun. So, all I can say is to keep being your goofy, metal loving, no shit taking self. If you ever need anything, from lady problems to a possible violent eruption, I will have your back. My beard and your mustache will conquer all.
Damon, the man of the hour, the tower of power, too damn sweet to be sour! I would complain about you spending too much time in front of that computer, but I did the same damn thing when I was your age. Hell, I still do it now. I can't wait to see what you do with your life. You have an incredible sense of humor, and are smart as hell. I remember you asking me what math class I was taking in college, and being disappointed when you heard I was "only" in basic algebra. I got a good chuckle. When you and Jass get around each other is some of my favorite memories. Anyone else hearing you two would think you hated one another. I LOVE hearing and watching you guys fight. I still remember when you spent years refusing to wear pants, and were happy as hell to run around in your underwear all day. I hope that when you get older, you are able to return to that state. I want to visit you, and walk in to see you just lounging around in some Tidy Whiteys, in a perfect state of bliss. While we don't talk much, mostly because that would require you to peel your eyes from that monitor, I love the crap out of you, sir. I also know you probably won't read this, since you are entirely too cool to get on Facebook. So, hurry up, graduate high school, ace your way through college and get rich so the rest of us can mooch off of you.
Let's see, I'm forgetting someone...some beautiful lady...Oh right! Amanda. There are not enough words in any dictionary in any language to describe my feelings towards you. Before I met you, I was a miserable blob. I spent my days pissed at work, pissed at being poor, pissed at people for no reason other than because I wanted them to be as miserable as I was, but they weren't, which just made me even madder. When you came along...you know, I'm not even afraid to admit it. We met on a dating website. There, I said it. We met the truly nerdy way, and I couldn't be happier about it. When we clicked on each others profiles, and started talking, I didn't have very high expectations. I had met chicks from that site before, and it never went well, so I figured it would just wind up the same way this time. How very wrong I was. In the past almost-two years, I can say I have been the happiest I have ever been. You have shown me what true love is. What I thought was love in the past can't even compare to what I feel for you. A few hours ago, when I was sitting outside in the dark, just thinking, what I wanted more than anything else, even more than a good cheeseburger, was you sitting there with me. While we have certainly had our arguments, and I know for a fact we will have many more as we grow older together, I love you more after each fight we have, because I know you will not put up with my shit, and that is exactly what I need in a woman. As I told you a year or so ago, if we were to break up, I'd be done. There is no way I could find a woman that is as caring, compassionate, honest, both beautiful on the inside as well as the outside, patient, and just simply incredible as you are. When I look into our future, I see us being successful in our careers because we push each other to do better, and having a couple of beautiful little turd ball kids. Will the kids piss us off? Oh yeah, especially if they take after me, but I know you will love them with such a burning passion that they will turn out to be wonderful. And if they don't, well, then I'd just take the belt to them. I'm kidding. I'd sell them on the Black Market. I know I'm not very good at showing my emotions and feelings most of the time, and you get mad at me for not being much of a talker and not being very romantic, I can tell you, from the very bottom on my heart, that you are my world. The thought of losing you is almost enough to send me into a depression. I know that your parents probably don't like me, but I don't care. We are meant to be together forever, irritating the shit out of each other until we die of old age. You have helped me become a better person on a whole. You were the one that finally talked me into getting off my ass and going to college. You will be the one to help me finally quit smoking eventually someday hopefully. You are the voice that goes through my head when I'm about to do something stupid, and talk me out of it. My love for you is like a giant spiked wrecking ball, destroying every single obstacle in my way. With you by my side, I will be happy forever, even if I want to shake the crap out of you some times.
I know there are other people I should mention, but it's 5am now, and I'm tired. So, to everyone else who might feel like I didn't talk about them in any of the above paragraphs, I appreciate and love you in a variety of ways that I'm just too tired to write about, to be honest. Now, I will end this, and go back to sitting on the porch, and smoke a cigarette before I pass out.
I honestly feel with every fiber of my being that I have the greatest group of friends anyone could ask for. For example, a few nights ago, a bunch of us got together to just waste away an entire day, just hanging out, drinking a little, and having fun. Well, one of them got entirely too drunk, said things he wishes he hadn't, and decided to wander off to a party up the street. Any other group of people might have gotten pissed at him for what he was saying, and just let him go and get into whatever trouble might have happened at that party of mostly strangers. However, our friends were not about to let that slide, and we went to drag him away. Sure, it took us about 30 minutes to talk him into leaving. Even after we got him back to our party, he went off on his tangent. Apparently, he should not ever, EVER drink Vodka again. What I'm getting at is that after that night, I realized that if I were to ever do anything really stupid, say things that might cross a few lines, and just generally act a fool, I know my friends will look after my best interests, even if I am not. Upon realizing that, as long as this group of misfits, which most people would just assume are a bunch of slackers, assholes, and bitches, which we are, as long as we all stay together, we will all be in safe hands. I have managed to belong to a group that genuinely cares for one another, even if we want to just knock the shit out of each other from time to time, but that's what true friends are for. While I'm on the subject of friends, and even though I know he won't read this, I gotta say something about my friend John. Contrary to the fact that he's acting like a 12 year old girl about what I said about him, which I have said to his face in the past (for those that might not know, I called him gay. I know he's not gay, but he is a little girl sometimes, such as this), I honestly hope he gets over the sand in his vagina. If he shows up at our annual 4th of July shindig, I'll tell him in person. Until then, maybe some one reading this can pass the message along. If he still wants to be a middle-schooler about this, then so be it. All I can do is try. In conclusion of this section, I love every one of you people. If you called upon me for any sort of favor (except money. I'm broke as fuck), I will be there. Some big dude gonna whoop your ass? I've gotten pretty good at absorbing punches from big dudes. If nothing else, I'll distract him long enough for you to get out of there. You need someone to be an accomplice for something that might be a little illegal? I'll let you know how stupid it is, but I'll probably go along with you, and we can hang out in jail for a few nights afterwards. I will always have all of your backs, because I know that if I ever need it, you will have mine as well.
I also realized that I was raised by two of the best people. Ever. Am I being biased? Yes, and I don't care. Everything I am I am because of what I either inherited from them, or from what they taught me. Even though they split when my sister and I were tiny, both my mother and father impacted my life in equally important ways. Watching my mom raise four kids basically by herself, with all the problems we caused her through all of these years, and all the problems I'm sure we will continue to cause her, she has never once let us down. She has more loving patience than any of us kids deserved to have shared with us. All the stupid shit the four of us have done, and yet she still managed to calm herself down just enough to let us live to see the next sunrise. Incredible. When my sister shaved off her eye brow, when I went through my "angsty goth" phase, my sister getting pregnant, Dan getting in an impressive amount of trouble at school, me letting that kid just kick my ass in my senior year and coming home all sorts of messed up, Dan and Damon waking up and emptying the fridge out onto the kitchen floor, me almost making her kill me when I was two and demanding "Rocky Rocky" very, very early in the morning... I mean, any other mother would have snapped at least once, and suddenly only had three kids to deal with, but not her. Either through determination or just sheer stubbornness you have managed to raise four basically well-adjusted kids. You are the first half of my personal hero tag team. You have taught me patience, courage, and the determination to survive in a world that seems to be out to shit on people. There is absolutely nothing that I wouldn't do for you. Well, except change your diapers when you get old. I just don't think I could wipe poop off of your butt. I will if I have to, but if Jass could do that, I'd be so much happier.
My dad. What can I say about him? Growing up, I didn't see as much of you as I would have liked, but since you spent a good deal of time out of Missouri, I knew you couldn't make it here as often as you wanted. I know we've had our spats, like when I messed up your lawn mower blade, wore nail polish when you came over (mostly to mess with you and see what you would do), and made myself breakfast without making you any. I'm sure as the years go on, we'll argue and get pissed at each other, and I am perfectly fine with that. I know that no matter how much we may piss each other off, we will always put it behind us. As much as I am like mom, I am just as much like you. Everything from being a complete jack ass, to allergies, to my short temper, to my refusal to take shit and deal with drama, to my ability to just not care what other people think of me, you have given me several very important tools to combat this world with. You have become the man that I measure myself up against. Everything that you have had to deal with in just my life time, and to still wear a smile on your face and seem generally happy when we hang out impresses me. You are the second half of my personal hero tag team. Just as with mom, I will do anything for you, especially not change your diapers, because I know you'd try to shit on me on purpose.
How can I talk about my parents without talking about my brothers and sisters? We will go in order of age. Jass, you and I have had quite the rocky road. I know I used to say some horrible things to you, and for no real reason. I think mostly because I wanted on the computer. Yeah, I used to be real mature that way. While you can be quite a bitch, I love you with fire that can't be put out. I long since decided that while I have made you feel like shit, if anyone else does, that's an ass-kicking. You're my sister, and only I am allowed to piss you off. For example, when you were pregnant with Zane, and you just blurted out that Chip raped you (or at least that's what my ears heard), I went out looking for him. I was fully prepared to go to prison for murder that night. Come to find out that he didn't, but still. I will always be there for you if you ever need anything. I might charge you a couple of cigarettes, but I'll be right there if I can.
Danny boy. Butt face. Turd sniffer. I must say, seeing you now, and comparing you to the child you were, you impress me. The fact that mom didn't kill you as a child is incredible. You were such a pain in the ass. As you grew older, you leveled out, and now you walk around with the strut and swagger of a bad ass, which makes me smile. While you are pretty impressive at the Guitar Hero, and I remember the cool stuff you would build with your Bionical pieces, what I most enjoy is your zero tolerance for bullshit. I recall a few episodes during the past school year or two. When you smacked around the kid that was picking on a handicapped kid, I wanted to be upset, but I could not. You stood up for someone that needed help, and that is an admiral trait in anyone. You probably shouldn't have punched him, but sometimes people just need a good thumpin'. The other instance was towards the end of your senior year. When you turned a kid's head into a punching bag for talking bad about your relationships, again, I wanted to be upset, but I couldn't. I would have done the exact same thing if I was in that situation, especially since you apparently warned him several times. You would think that, since I'm sure you had a reputation at that point for punching people, that they would just leave your ass alone. All I can say about that is now that you are out of highschool, try to avoid hitting people. Eventually you're going to come across someone who can take your punches, and kick your ass. While I believe that every man needs their ass kicked every now and then, it's best to try to avoid it as long as possible. Trust me, it's never fun. So, all I can say is to keep being your goofy, metal loving, no shit taking self. If you ever need anything, from lady problems to a possible violent eruption, I will have your back. My beard and your mustache will conquer all.
Damon, the man of the hour, the tower of power, too damn sweet to be sour! I would complain about you spending too much time in front of that computer, but I did the same damn thing when I was your age. Hell, I still do it now. I can't wait to see what you do with your life. You have an incredible sense of humor, and are smart as hell. I remember you asking me what math class I was taking in college, and being disappointed when you heard I was "only" in basic algebra. I got a good chuckle. When you and Jass get around each other is some of my favorite memories. Anyone else hearing you two would think you hated one another. I LOVE hearing and watching you guys fight. I still remember when you spent years refusing to wear pants, and were happy as hell to run around in your underwear all day. I hope that when you get older, you are able to return to that state. I want to visit you, and walk in to see you just lounging around in some Tidy Whiteys, in a perfect state of bliss. While we don't talk much, mostly because that would require you to peel your eyes from that monitor, I love the crap out of you, sir. I also know you probably won't read this, since you are entirely too cool to get on Facebook. So, hurry up, graduate high school, ace your way through college and get rich so the rest of us can mooch off of you.
Let's see, I'm forgetting someone...some beautiful lady...Oh right! Amanda. There are not enough words in any dictionary in any language to describe my feelings towards you. Before I met you, I was a miserable blob. I spent my days pissed at work, pissed at being poor, pissed at people for no reason other than because I wanted them to be as miserable as I was, but they weren't, which just made me even madder. When you came along...you know, I'm not even afraid to admit it. We met on a dating website. There, I said it. We met the truly nerdy way, and I couldn't be happier about it. When we clicked on each others profiles, and started talking, I didn't have very high expectations. I had met chicks from that site before, and it never went well, so I figured it would just wind up the same way this time. How very wrong I was. In the past almost-two years, I can say I have been the happiest I have ever been. You have shown me what true love is. What I thought was love in the past can't even compare to what I feel for you. A few hours ago, when I was sitting outside in the dark, just thinking, what I wanted more than anything else, even more than a good cheeseburger, was you sitting there with me. While we have certainly had our arguments, and I know for a fact we will have many more as we grow older together, I love you more after each fight we have, because I know you will not put up with my shit, and that is exactly what I need in a woman. As I told you a year or so ago, if we were to break up, I'd be done. There is no way I could find a woman that is as caring, compassionate, honest, both beautiful on the inside as well as the outside, patient, and just simply incredible as you are. When I look into our future, I see us being successful in our careers because we push each other to do better, and having a couple of beautiful little turd ball kids. Will the kids piss us off? Oh yeah, especially if they take after me, but I know you will love them with such a burning passion that they will turn out to be wonderful. And if they don't, well, then I'd just take the belt to them. I'm kidding. I'd sell them on the Black Market. I know I'm not very good at showing my emotions and feelings most of the time, and you get mad at me for not being much of a talker and not being very romantic, I can tell you, from the very bottom on my heart, that you are my world. The thought of losing you is almost enough to send me into a depression. I know that your parents probably don't like me, but I don't care. We are meant to be together forever, irritating the shit out of each other until we die of old age. You have helped me become a better person on a whole. You were the one that finally talked me into getting off my ass and going to college. You will be the one to help me finally quit smoking eventually someday hopefully. You are the voice that goes through my head when I'm about to do something stupid, and talk me out of it. My love for you is like a giant spiked wrecking ball, destroying every single obstacle in my way. With you by my side, I will be happy forever, even if I want to shake the crap out of you some times.
I know there are other people I should mention, but it's 5am now, and I'm tired. So, to everyone else who might feel like I didn't talk about them in any of the above paragraphs, I appreciate and love you in a variety of ways that I'm just too tired to write about, to be honest. Now, I will end this, and go back to sitting on the porch, and smoke a cigarette before I pass out.
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